Give me a (BIG) break

It's official!


I'm heading down to Florida during spring break with Campus Crusade for Big Break conference! I'm excited to see how the week will unfold.

Lately I've been developing a bigger burden to share the Gospel. Last semester, a thought hit me. I looked around and I realized that all the people I interact with were Christians and only Christians. Unwillingly I had to admit to myself that I was stuck in a "christian bubble." On second thought, stuck is an inaccurate word. I'm responsible for the decisions that I make. I decide who to friend, the people who I interact with, and ultimately who I share my life with. I made decisions that I felt were comfortable.

But this was the false sense of comfort. I had forgotten what comfort really meant. To me, comfort meant having as few problems in life as possible. Comfort meant being so complacent with myself that I go on cruise control through life. I shared my life with Christians only. It was comforting to know that if I only had Christians around me, no one would question me, no one would rattle my faith, and no one would go against me. These were the things I placed my dependence on.

I was dependent on the securities of what my life offered and not on the security of the promises Christ gave to us. I stopped sharing my faith, did not care for the lost, had inconsistent quiet times, and altogether stopped depending on God.

God is good, though.

He reminds me that he's a faithful friend and he's here during my struggles. He reminds me of his grace whenever I feel too ashamed to look at him. He reminds me of his promises whenever I doubt him. And he reminds me of the true comfort I can find if I decide to depend on him.

Now, this decision to join Big Break still feels like a huge risk to me. I risk facing rejection but I am stepping out in faith, praying for opportunities. I risk receiving judgment from people I approach but I know my identity lies in Christ alone. Above all, I find comfort in knowing that I risk because God does not risk. And that's all the truth I need.

How He Loves

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.
And I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so
Oh how He loves us
How He loves us all
He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.
And I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me.
We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest.
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
He loves us
---------------------------------------------------------------
Everyday I am reminded of this truth
And everyday I fall more and more in love with Him

Upside Down Chin Face

When I was younger, I used to talk to people upside down. I would flip myself 180 on the couch and have conversations with people like that. The blood rushing to my head was a bit annoying but looking at people's upside down chin face makes up for it.

You know... an upside down chin face. Whenever you're flipped upside down and you only focus on the lips and chin. And you imagine their face is smushed while their lips are still normal-sized! Isn't that the best??




not my chin.

His lead of love

Looking back at the road so far
The journey’s left its share of scars
mostly from leaving the narrow and straight

Looking back it is clear to me
That a man is more than the sum of his deeds
and how You’ve made good of this mess I’ve made
is a profound mystery

Looking back You know You had to bring me through
All that I was so afraid of
Though I questioned the sky, now I see why
Had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view
Looking back I see the lead of love

Looking back I can finally see
How failures bring humility
Brings me to my knees
Helps me see my need for thee

-Caedmon's Call ( whoops sorry, not Casting Crowns but same initials though =P )

Chan can't cook

I don't think I'll be having a meal plan next semester because the price of North apartments + ridiculously overpriced Umass meal plan is just too much financially. The good news... we will be having our own kitchen (and our own CLEAN bathrooms!) so we can cook our own meals. The bad news: Chan can't cook. *side note - the dude from Yan can cook came to Umass last week and not only is he a cook, dude was hysterical. I guess Yan got jokes too!*

Over the summer, I've already asked my parents and my sisters to teach me how to cook. They've already agreed to teach me how to cook a few chinese dishes and I'm very excited because I am a huge fan of mah po tofu. But as much as I love my mah po tofu, I can't eat that every single day. You may be asking yourself, "what can I do, Jeffrey??" Mmm yes my loyal readers, here's where you can help me!

Please share your recipes with me! Or better yet, please teach me how to cook! I know you guys are out there! My goal is to learn at least 7 so that can cover a week. Or enough so I can go up to my roommates next year and go... STICK WITH ME AND YOU'LL NEVER GO HUNGRY AGAIN! (Shoutout to my Lion King fans out there)

Mah Po deliciousness

Christ is risen!

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride

See from his head, his hands, his feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did ever such love and sorrow meet?
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die
And find that I may truly live
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
All who gather here by grace draw near
And bless Your name

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all

What's so good about Good Friday?

(This post was originally intended for Friday)
I've always wondered why we call this day "Good Friday." It didn't make sense in my head. Every year, we observe the death of Jesus Christ. He is the perfect lamb, the most innocent blood, the ultimate form of love... slain, murdered. And not just any death, but death in the most gruesome form humans ever conceived in history. *Side note - I remember a few years back I heard a talk about how hideous the crucifixion actually was. Ask me about it some other day. The pastor put it in such great detail that I remember it brought me to tears.* And all that just added to my confusion. I didn't understand how any "good" could come from this. I mean, we don't look at MLK's death and call it "Good MLK's assasination day" right? Well, as I grew more in my faith and more in my knowledge of the Gospel, I began to see why we name it such. There is a clear distinction between historical moral teachers like MLK and Jesus Christ. But it still didn't fully click in my mind. Wouldn't some other word like "dark" or "gloomy" be more fitting and appropriate? Why GOOD?

This morning it bothered me so much that I even googled it, hoping it would clear up some of my confusion. The Wikipedia page (the most reliable source of course) gave it a few alternate names: Holy Friday, Black Friday or Great Friday. Holy Friday fits but we rarely use that (i think). Black Friday would make more sense but Americans already use that for the annual official start to Christmas shopping. Great Friday is an even stronger word than good so that didn't really help me. I was not satisfied.

Later on that night AKC had a joint Good Friday service with Amherst Christian Fellowship. The theme for the night? What's so good about Good Friday. Mmm! Exactly what I was looking for! An answered prayer! Needless to say, I was more than excited to hear the message and what the pastor had to say.

The guy (who's actually not a pastor but an Amherst College alum currently in seminary) offered some really good insight. He broke it down to three reasons why this is truly a GOOD friday.

1. Good Friday is good because it demonstrates God's love
2. Good Friday is good because it fulfills all that which Jesus Christ came down to earth to do
3. Good Friday is good because it subsequently led to Jesus' triumphant rise from the dead = our salvation, and our hope for abundant and eternal life. Our relationship with God is reconciled through Jesus Christ

- It demonstrated God's love because it was not out of obligation or duty. It was out of love, God's love for us. John 3:16 tells us that He loved the world so much that He sent his one and only son down to die on the cross for all of us so through that act of love, our broken relationship is fully healed.

- Jesus Christ did many wonderful things here on earth. Like the long list of great moral leaders in history, he taught many valuable lessons; lessons that teach us how to live everyday. He was here to heal the sick. He came to show us how to care for the ones that are oppressed and ignored by everyone. But ultimately, he was sent to die on the cross and rise on the third day. He even predicts this in Luke 9:22, when he was speaking to Nicodemus. He was sent to fulfill God's sovereign plan and he achieved that through the cross.

- Jesus' death made it possible for me and for you to opt back into life with God. It is possible now for us to finally and truly live. It is possible now to experience all that God has to offer to us. And it is only possible because of His love.


Mmmm a good lesson learned on a very good friday. Hi mom!